The Conversation
by crowskisses
Summary: A conversation that Bonnie hoped would never have to happen.  Set after Midnight.


Disclaimer: I don't own Bonnie or any VD related themes.

Summary: A conversation Bonnie has been avoiding.

Rating: K+

Author's note: Just a little drabble :)

…...

She'd always thought her parents were clueless at worst or willfully blind at best. They'd never mentioned the scorch marks on her bedroom floor from the candles, didn't seem to see when she dropped the bunch of vervain right in front of them, nor did they begrudge her all of the late night calls to Meredith, it was simply as if all traces of the supernatural didn't exist. It was a facade that could only last so long before it shattered.

The trances had been happening more often, too often for Bonnie's tastes, but they had been coming easier too. She no longer had to look into a flickering flame, no longer had to purposefully blank her mind, now she simply had to breathe the wrong way to get shoved aside in her own body. She glanced through her diary, noting the once rare tick marks that signaled a possession or a premonition that now dotted every entry. She'd told Meredith she felt like a late night tv as someone flicked through the channels, she'd said it jokingly but it was starting to really scare her. It wasn't the trances themselves that scared her anymore, they were neutral at best and unpleasant at worst, but then again she'd had the nightmares for years. What terrified her, kept her awake at night praying to every God she could think of, was the power that came with them.

It was as if to use her as a gateway they had to pay a toll, a bit of their own power. She'd giggled as she'd written about it in her diary, it was like popping coins into a coke machine, but now she no longer found it funny. Now the toll was going higher, her uncontrollable power growing with it and now she was stuck in a sick accelerating cycle of trances and power, more trances and more power. It made her miss Damon all the more.

Bonnie pushed that thought away, swallowing the automatic tears. She knew she cried far too often, fainted more than any damsel in distress, but it was so much easier to cry and faint than to have to think about the problem or truly feel the pain. It was true, she missed Damon more than she could imagine, but right now she missed the advice he could give her. Stefan wouldn't be able to help her with this, he'd never done the long cycle of feeding off of humans and feeling the increased response in power and bloodlust. He'd never lived the vampire cycle, clinging too strong to the human one. Elena's dealings with power had been far different from Bonnie's, as different in their responses to it. Elena had always craved it; built herself a throne of popularity as a human both in high school and in another dimension. Bonnie had never craved it, she'd been too afraid to, but now she had it and it was going to drive her insane.

The pale green walls and narrow cot flashed into her mind again, Bonnie shook her head trying to shake out one possible version of her future. A soft touch on her face, jolted her back into the present. "Bonnie, are you alright?"

She glanced around, unsure of why she was standing in her family kitchen, but she managed a smile for her mother anyway. "Fine."

Her mother studied her carefully, her matching heart shaped face showing signs of worry. "Are you eating enough? You still look so pale."

"Not sleeping," Bonnie mumbled. Yes, she'd seen herself in the mirror this morning: she looked thin and pale with crushed violet circles under her eyes.

Her parents exchanged a glance, her father's eyebrow lifting as he turned away. His watch caught the light as he turned, flashing, and Bonnie felt herself swooshed to the side. She panicked, from the dark place she always went, but she couldn't stop herself from speaking anymore than she could stop herself from seeing. Not in front of her parents!

But her face had smoothed out, the brown eyes blank, "An empty bed…that's all you will have left."

Her father swung back around, his eyes catching his wife's in worry before he turned back to Bonnie. But Bonnie was still seeing: her room with the window open and the curtains fluttering in the wind. A rumpled bed as if she'd gotten up in a hurry with two red drops of blood on the pillow. "An empty bed and an end that's not an end."

"Bonnie!" Her mother reached out to shake her just as her father admonished her mother. Bonnie felt the cool clinks of power being deposited in her brain as she snapped back into a groggy reality.

"I'm fine." It came out slurred as she slumped gratefully into her father's arms. He deposited her at the table, letting her rest her head on the cool surface.

"Colin?" Her mother's voice sounded far away and worried.

"Pour her some coffee, I need to let the office know I'll be out today." Her father's voice was resigned.

And that was how a few minutes later Bonnie McCullough found herself sitting in her living room across from her father clutching a mug of coffee and whiskey . Her insides trembled, which made her giggle. She'd faced down Old Ones, kitsune and slavery but this was terrifying her? Something was seriously wrong with her.

She swallowed her next nervous giggle at the pensive expression on her father's face. Her mother had gone to the store for sugar, despite the new bag sitting on the counter clearly in her father's view as he'd asked for it. Whatever this was, it was clearly the McCullough side and not the Sullivan's. Bonnie took a sip of the coffee concoction she was drinking, thinking of all the times her mom had mentioned how crazy her cousins and Gran all were.

Her father finally broke the silence, "It skips a generation, you know."

"Like twins." It was all Bonnie could think to say, as if they we're discussing a regular genetic trait like red hair.

He smiled, the same smile Bonnie had that lit up their entire face. "Like twins….How long have you been having these…..experiences?"

Bonnie thought back, "At least beginning of senior year. That's when they got…more regular."

"After you got back from visiting Connie?" There was a sharpness in his voice as if he we're working off of his own timeline.

Bonnie nodded, it had been a wonderful summer full of wild Bonnie and Connie adventures. Her father smiled again, "Your Gran had wanted you to go that summer, but not before."

She felt a sharp, sweet pang at the mention of her grandmother. "Why?….Did she know…." it trailed off into nothing. What was she going to say did she know I would get involved with vampires, that I would face death again and again?

"You're Gran knew a lot of things, more than you can imagine." Her father paused, a small rueful laugh escaping, "Well maybe not more than you.."

Bonnie returned his weak smile, remembering that according to her Gran she would be young and beautiful in her grave. A thought flashed into her head, "Do Mary and Coleen have it?"

Her father took a long drink, glancing around just to ensure her two sisters were gone. "No, you're the only one. Your Gran said you would need it the most."

Her fingers trembled, her thoughts whirring around like hummingbirds in her head. Even she could hear the panic in her voice, "What do you mean? Could she just….just choose like that? I didn't want it!"

"Bonbon," the lilt that he usually hid was strong in his voice, "I don't know how it works…I think usually it passes how it will pass, but your Gran left you something extra."

She could feel her eyes bulging out, hear her heart hammering away in her chest. Her father came over to sit next to her, stroking her hair, "Your Gran had said she wanted to leave you with her…her gift as she called it." His voice broke and Bonnie cut him off.

"That's why I was with Connie that summer, the summer that Gran died." The summer that her gift had truly awoken, the summer with that awful night. She'd always been afraid of the dark, seen the extra shadows that lurked there, but that summer she'd awoken in the middle of the night to find her shadows had become full blown monsters.

Full blown hysteria was about to hit, she could feel the buzzing of other minds around, feel the thrum of her father's fear. "But Connie just taught me things like palm reading, not how to handle it! Why? Why did she do it to me?"

His held up her cup, waiting for her to take a long drink. His lilt was calming, he'd had to calm his youngest child down for years and years. "Do you remember how much you used to love Sleeping Beauty."

Bonnie nodded, taking another drink it wasn't black magic but it would do. He continued, "I used to call you that when you were little. Your Gran used to joke that she was your fairy, giving you the best gift of all…and that one day "a prince" would come wake you up."

And wake her power up with it, it was a bitter thought breaking through her mild panic. It calmed her down enough, there would be time to fantasize about her prince later. "She also used to say I'd be young and beautiful in my coffin."

Her father grimaced, taking another drink. "Your mother thought if we could just get you to eighteen without any of this popping up we'd be scotch free. Don't blame your Gran, Bonnie, it's a McCullough's rite passed on since the druids."

He gave a bitter laugh, "We really tried, Bonbon. We ignored almost all of it when you we're little, pretended you weren't talking about things you didn't know about. We spoiled you to try and cover it up, to try and soothe the fears only you knew. We kept trying, even after the Gilberts crash."

A flicker of a memory that she had long ago repressed startled her. She cut into her father's reverie.. "What do you mean? About Elena's parents?"

He finished his drink, his brown eyes giving her a long sad look. "Why do you think we we're first on the scene?" He glanced away, "If only we'd left sooner, if your mother and I hadn't argued about it…."

She was going to vomit, or pass out, or both. Her vision grayed and she could hear her father telling her to take deep breaths, but all she could see was that flash of gold and Elena's clear childlike voice.

The gray faded away slowly as a realization came to her. This was her secret to carry, something she could never share with Elena or Meredith…or even her diary. She'd lost another chunk of her innocence, feeling it fall away with almost an audible pop. Things would be different now, this power….it was her past, it was her future and it was her reality.

Her father swam back into her reality, "Bonnie….I know it feels like a burden right now, but you can't think about it that way. This… chunk of McCullough will be a gift for you if you let it." He paused, making sure he had her attention. "You wouldn't have it if you weren't strong enough for it, if you couldn't use it for good. You're stronger than you think you are, Bonbon, smarter too."

Yes, she was, but she was only now realizing it and relishing in it. She was Bonnie McCullough: a bravest when scared birthright psychic, she was a giver and a forgiver, and she did everything a 100% percent whether it was love fiercely or panic wildly. But most of all she was a survivor.

Fin.


End file.
